Dear Mr. West,
I'm sure you would like to be addressed as "God" but Pope Francis has stated that his boss already has that title. I'm sure you'll forgive me as God would.
It seems you're an in debt creative person like me (not to mention many of my uber-talented friends). Well, maybe you and I can max out some credit cards to buy some new gear (what's your credit limit?) and make some songs. I'm sorry, but in case you forgot, no one pays for Music anymore so you'll have to get a side job like me. I just saw that WAWA is hiring so maybe we can get on the same shift and talk about idea on break!
You say you have many cool ideas. So do I! There is nothing better than working with someone who is passionate about their craft. The only thing I would ask is that you turn off your phone when we're writing and recording. It helps with the creative process. Judging by the amount of tweets you've been sending, I'm guessing you are testing out the new "Google Brain" where they implant a phone inside your head that takes up most of the space where the brain used to be. That you, as always, for being a person who leads the way in technology, language, and subtlety. I respect and admire these aspects in all people, especially newly impoverished artists.
However, since you have said you are a giving man and, as you've said, "for anyone that has money they know the first rule is to use other people's money," I would like to ask that, just in case you get the Billion dollars you are asking for, that you allow me to use some of your money, me, a creative soul like you. I promise, and you have my word on this, EVERY cent will be used on art. I'll write a symphony, record the sound of dolphins, do performance art where I smear an entire old age home with Vegemite and pesto while dressed in lederhosen. You, as a creative spirit, would understand like no one else the power of a creative person acting on every impulse.
Finally, please note that I will not spend one thin dime on the poor, the hungry, the homeless, the abused, the lonely and/or forgotten. You and I both know the Bible and realize that God is the ultimate artist and that nowhere in there in that book (of which you could have written much better) does it say that any of these people are greater than artists. You and I, as creative forces, were made in God's image to make this world better by LIVING our artistic dreams! Helping those in need is NOT art! Let the uncreative people who are less than us do it! You and I, sir, have much better and more important things to do. I will take any contribution you send, as long as it is above $500,000. Like you, I am in debt and have dreams that need to be fulfilled to change the world.
So again, as a kindred spirit, I thank you and look forward to us working together soon, either in your studio or mine and/or at our day job together. (Don't worry, I'm cool with the manager.)
Yours Sincerely,
MK
PS: I know some guys who work at a MAJOR LEAGUE Music store near my place and can get us AMAZING deals! (Do you know how to work Pro Tools?)
